Our Miracle is doing good!

So Blessed

To All,
Thank you for the outpouring of love, support, encouragement, prayers and congratulations. We really are just marveling at this miracle...and still trying to believe it really is...we really are...pregnant! I received such a lovely note from a friend that helped me reflect, for the first time, on the fact that God has chosen to bless us. It is as if He has finally said "See, I have not forgotten you." After all the novenas we prayed, and our many, many attempts at surrendering the matter. And now, we are just in awe.

We LOVE reading the updates of our baby. It is amazing that it is growing so fast and developing so well. Occasionally, Paul or Uncle Keith will start talking in the room and I will realize they are talking to the baby. :) Keith made a special request that I start eating polish food. The baby might have to wait for that one, as I can only "stomach" so much now.

We decided to give the baby the nickname, "maluski." It is pronounced (ma-lu-shki) and means "little one." There is a Christmas carol, sung to the infant Jesus "O Maluski" which I have heard was one of John Paul II's favorites.

And, on another note...why this blog was started in the first place: We were recently notified by our adoption agency that there are two more potential "situations" on the horizon. We have much prayer to undergo to find God's will with regards to adoption. Certainly, we hoped we would have one or two kids by now. This would also us to grow our family pretty quickly...but it is such a different perspective from here. We will try to keep this in God's hands as much as possible. Right now, we are just trying to see what happens at the ultrasound (scheduled for Tuesday) before making any decisions. We will keep you posted on all fronts! ;-)

another update :)

It has been awhile, and I appologize for the delay in this update. We had several conversations before we decided to put this update online.

Paul and I recieved very good news. Before we say just what that is....here is the prelude. Our cousin's came over recently and delivered this very special toast. "And they went to visit their cousin, Elisabeth, who was found to be in her 6th week. She who was thought barren. For they know, all things are possible with God."

Reflecting on the scriptural meaning of my name, Elisabeth. Reflecting on the meditations of barren women in the bible - we were so blessed to recieve this toast. And we truly TRULY are blessed.

(please scroll down)

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

So, certainly, this is the biggest surprsie of our married life. We are THRILLED. We don't know yet what it means for the adoption - and will continue to keep you posted via this blog. For now, I am under the care of Dr. Hilgers through the PPVI Institute for hormonal support. Thank you for all of you that have prayed us to this point!!! Please continue to pray for the Blessed Mother and St. Gerard's intercession for this new life inside of me! With all our love!

an update

At the adoptive parent panel, we were told by the couples to listen for our social worker to say she had a "situation." That was how she tended to introduce a possibility. A few weeks ago we got a call from our social worker. She had a "situation." So, the situation was that there was a 21 year old girl considering adoption. She was half hispanic and the race of the father was unknown. She also used crack in the first few months of pregnancy - but had stopped and was in rehab. I talked to Paul, we called a friend that is a pediatrician, and decided that we wanted our profile to be shown. We decided not to tell anyone, so as to avoid the infamous "have you heard anything yet?" question at each instance of communication.

It was a little bit of a rush, at first. But as we didn't hear anything for several weeks, we assumed we were not chosen. We just heard from the social worker today that the girl changed her mind. Please pray for this girl. We never got the overwhelming sense of "this is it." I guess the expectation is that we might get a few such phone calls before "the one." We are so glad we have this board to keep everyone updated. Thank you for your prayers for us as well. xoxoxo

Welcome 2007

What changes will this year bring? We are optimistic about 2007.
With regards to fertility - it is has been a long journey; here is the rundown:
10/2002 - married
10/2003 - began infertility testing
3/2004 - first surgery
6/2005 - second surgery
9/2005 - third & major surgery
12/2005 - began adoption research
3/2006 - choose an agency; started our wait
10/2006 - officially approved

As 2006 has been mostly "adoption focused" for us - we have been able to toss out the charts (temporarily) and forget about "trying to conceive." This has been a blessing. But, moving on from the dream of conceiving to the dream of adopting was interesting, to say the least. There are so many different emotions wrapped up with the adoption process. Having our parenting ability questioned, going through interviews, doctor's visits, background checks - all this to welcome a child into our house. One of the great lessons we have learned from others is that when we receive this great gift (and finalize the adoption), unquestionably, that will be our child. A child we have long awaited.

We are optimistic about 2007. That is not to say we will be blessed with a child by the close of the year, though hopefully that is the case. We are optimistic because, for the first time, we have no additional testing/poking/prodding/interrogating/interviewing to endure. We are as far as we can come on our journey to parenthood. The rest is completely out of our hands. Although I long to look into the future and see our family with a bustling house full of children, again, out of our hands. For the first time we look forward to our future, the one God has planned for us. We look forward not in expectation of the house full - but we look forward, one child at a time. Thank you all for your continued prayers and love. Happy New Year!

Chrismas Wishes

First, please let me extend our wishes to you for a very Merry Christmas. We hope the birthday of our savior brings renewed joy into your homes. This year, Paul and I wanted to wait to celebrate the liturgical Christmas season. We waited to purchase a tree, set up decorations, do baking, etc. And now, today is the first day of Christmas! This was, of course, preluded by wonderful family gatherings and meals. But we look forward to the days ahead to celebrate and reflect on our blessings.

What a year. And hopefully one year closer to the blessing of a child. We recieved several wonderful baby-wishes this year. Especially in the breaking of Oplatek. Every year we follow the polish custom of breaking bread (chrismas wafers pronounced oh-pwah-tek). This is a custom where those gathered have a chance to express well wishes to one another. The theme for us this year was "may all your baby dreams come true." In addition to oplatek, this was expressed in gifts received. Thank you for all that have us in their thoughts and prayers. It means so much!

I am very tempted to do a "year in review" type blog...but we will wait until next week for that!! Love you all!

no news is no news

So, yup, posts have been much less frequent lately. There is not much going on in the adoption front. We are still approved, we are still waiting. Generally, we don't hear anything unless we ask...and we have been too busy to ask these days.

Dec 1st I started my new position as the Campus Minister at the catholic high school. It has been a very busy week (two weeks) trying to learn the ropes and learn the inner workings of high school life. I think once it starts rolling things will pick up. It is just these darn ropes that are so tricky. Someone told me they thought the new job would be a good distraction for us in this wait. It is certainly a distraction...but it also adds a new dimension in our road to parenthood. To daycare or not to daycare. We have always discussed that I would be a stay-at-home-mom. God knows (and hopefully He will let us in on the secret soon) - what will happen. Perhaps a modified version of staying home & working. Perhaps job sharing? Perhaps in-home care? A whole 'nother world of discussion to discuss!

Set your DVD to Record...or Watch Dr Hilgers this Friday night!

From an Email:
"I am so pleased to announce to you that Dr. Hilgers will be the feature of a one hour interview on national television beginning Friday, December 8, 2006 at 7 p.m.CST. This interview was taped about two weeks ago with Raymond Arroyo of EWTN at Christendom College at Front Royal, Virginia. It was taped in their library with a student body live audience.

I hope that you will put this on your calendar or set your Tivo so that you don't miss this important interview. Please also let everyone associated with your center know and your clients as well. It helps spread the message of our work."

Tis the Season to Be Jolly (Paul)

As this season of advent approaches it is a time of preparation I teach my 8th grade CCD students. Some of them get it and others look surprised. Its kind of funny. This year I was one of the surprised ones. It hard to believe that it is already this time of year. Getting so wrapped up in work and estimates and Elisabeth's new job and normal responsibilities the idea that this is a time of preparation slipped my mind. We are supposed to be preparing our homes and our hearts for the arrival of a baby. A king is promised to come. One who will bring peace to the world and to us individually. Although Christmas time may come and Go I am choosing this advent to prepare my mind and heart for a baby that is promised. One that will be ours. Maranatha Come Lord Jesus and See the blessing you have created for us some where.

May your Advent be a fruitful one and may the Lord's coming fill your home with Joy.

An EXCELLENT article on Infertility

Dear Family & Friends,
PLEASE READ THIS!!!! Someone on my infertility board posted a link to this article. It is, perhaps, the most comprehensive and honest look at what we go through. I hope that it brings you insight on the struggle of Infertilty. God Bless You All & Happy Thanksgiving!

Adoptive Search Panel

So, last night I was on my own to attend the Search panel discussion (while Paul was teaching). This is where we hear from "the triad." The triad consists of the adoptive parent(s), adopted child and birthparent(s). The search panel consists of one of each of these that have searched and found someone in the last couple years.

The first was an adoptive parent. Her son sought and found his birthmother when he turned 18. Since her son was 7 when he was adopted he did have a memory of his birthmother. In this case the mother and the birthmother formed a friendship and now refer to him as "our son" and joke about how he has two mothers. There always seems to be one case that is a little over the top.

The second was a daughter and birthfather that were reunited last year. This case was unique because it is very rare that a birthfather will keep the agency updated hoping to one day reunite with his child. Hearing from this man gave good insight. He was 15 when his daughter was born. His parents wanted to adopt and raise the baby - he was the one who talked everyone into giving the baby up for adoption. He was very respectful to the desires of the parents - to wait until their daughter turned 18 for her to search. She wanted to wait until she was out of college. Now they both speak of the relationship, the challenges and brought thoughts such as what happens after the reunion. Hearing from the daughter really helped me see that her parents are her parents, regardless of what happened with the search. She also helped me see that some degree of openness (letters, pictures) is not a bad thing. She didn't have any of that and said it has been overwhelming trying to learn names and relationships in her new extended family.

Also, the idea of the fact that the child is going to want to search was addressed. It is not a bad thing. It seems to just be a necessary, "finding oneself" right of passage for a child that is adopted. Even though a percentage of reunions never happen, or rejection may occur, the child will know and have closure on that part of their life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note...I just accepted a new job as the Director of Campus Ministry for a catholic high school. I am thrilled to finally have the opportunity to do what I want (full time ministry) - but nervous as to how the adoption will play into this change. I know God has this plan that is slowly unrolling. It is just difficult to see directly in front of you when you want to know the big picture. Hopefully the job will be a good distraction from the wait.

Reproductive Medicine & Catholicism

Yesterday there was an article published in the Washington Post about NaPro Technology and Dr. Hilger's work with the Pope Paul VI Institute. Read the article by clicking here. The only argument from the Institute was that it was published in the religion section rather than the health & medicine section. While we were pursuing treatment with Dr. Hilgers there were concerns because we were pursuing "catholic" treatment. No, we were pursuing morally acceptable treatment.

Overall, the article is pretty balanced. Of course there are some ridiculous comments: "They might as well be advocating prayer for infertility," said Richard Paul, a fertility expert at the University of Southern California. "The reason that this is dangerous is because women have a biological clock, and while they are using up time with less effective therapies, time may run out." Though we are not (yet) in the statistical success rating, I think it would be quite difficult to find a woman who considers her treatment a waste of time.

I am glad to know that it is causing a little controversy out there. For two reasons, 1) if there is controversy others will know about it. 2) I would love to have other people studying & challenging the research. Really, their success and patient load should be saying something to mainstream docs. Please spread word of this article!

OFFICIALLY approved

Well, this homestudy process lasted much longer than we thought, but as of yesterday, we are OFFICIALLY approved. Technically, according to our agency's policy, we have been waiting 7 months and 3 weeks; But now, if a girl comes to the agency and asks to see all the profiles, we could be in the running.

There is no word on how long (before we receive a placement) it just depends on girls coming forward. Please pray for women that may be struggling with the decision to place their babies for adoption. Please keep in mind that though we have an agency, an independent adoption can still be facilitated. We hope to send out our "Dear Birthmother" letters to friends and family before the end of the year. The purpose is that if you come across someone hoping to adopt, you can share our profile with them. We will keep you posted. Thank you again for all your prayers and support.

Please pray for this family...

We just received news of the death of one of Paul's former classmates. What makes this so tragic is his wife delivered their first child on Friday night via C-section. On Sunday she was expecting to see him at the hospital...but he didn't show. The police were called and found him dead at their house. It is moving us because Paul recently re-connected with him. We were invited to their baby shower. Paul and he spoke just a few weeks ago.

I absolutely cannot fathom becoming a mother and a widow in the same weekend. Please pray for the "W" family, and the repose of this young man's soul.

The Events of last Friday....

Friday night we thought we were going to Fr. Keith's church to surprise their cousin for his 30th birthday party. When we went to meet him in the chapel, they opened the doors and the chapel was FILLED with our bible study friends (around 30 people). I almost had a heart attack!! I was ushered to the front of the room as all was quickly prepared for Mass. Fr. Keith led a Mass to start our time of waiting with prayers and lift us up with hope. The gospel read was of Mary's fiat and visit to Elizabeth who conceived in her old age. The homily was lovingly directed to us and I cried the WHOLE time. Thank goodness someone had a tissue, because I was not prepared for this!

After the Mass everyone migrated to the church hall which was beautifully decorated, a full spread of yummy food all prepared by Becky. As we walked in she was selling raffle tickets and people started to play shower games. The first was a quiz about us. Where were we born, what was our adoption agency, what was the name of our dog, etc. Some of the answers were quite creative.

Another game was the baby word unscramble. As this particular group of friends is very "fruitful" and are quite current on their baby shower games, I think Aleeca unscrambled all 10+ words in less than a minute.

These pictures were cutting the cake and giving out the raffle prizes (while holding our goddaughter, M):


Other local family friend's showed up and through out the night we got to update our friends and recieve congratulations. During the car ride home I had the opportunity to hear Paul's reflections. In additon to what I posted previously, he said "I feel like I am on the other side of the fence now and this feels like it is becoming more real." When we got home we took time to open the gifts and cards. Once again, overwhelming. We were grateful for the opportunity to opt out from doing this at the party. But, from all the resulting generosity, we now have a stroller, car seat, pack and play, BRU gift cards and HALF of our adoption fund raised!!!!!!! I agree with Paul, looking at the baby gear makes it seem more real. Now, all we need is a little bum to fill that seat!

Again, we just feel so incredibly blessed. Another god-incidence part of this whole thing was that last week was the week for our homestudy report to be written up & approval granted. So, officially, literally, we are started our wait time surrounded by friends and family lifting us up in prayer at the Lord's table. I am confident this prayer is helping us prepare and surrounding us with grace needed. We don't know how long the wait will be, we don't know what little soul God has to bless us with...but we are so grateful that we can relax in being more prepared for whatever surprises lie ahead.

"God has given YOU to us!"

It is 2:30am the morning of October 7th. I have jotted down our thoughts and hope to post the full report soon (with pictures - Becky, can you email me a few :) . As some of you may check the blog later, I wanted to write something.

We are just about speechless. Certainly we are overwhelmed at the outpouring of love, support and generosity. As Paul said "when we began the process, we entrusted everything over to God...and now God has given us You (becky, steve, keith, all our family and all our friends) to pray for us and give us strength in this journey."

Thank you. Everyone, thank you.
We love you and are so grateful for your friendship and love.

(((Keith, Becky and Steve. we are speechless. we love you. we are so thankful God has given us you!)))

Adoptive Parent Panel

Paul:
Monday we attended a workshop and the panel of speakers had 4 new parents who adopted and one gentleman whose adoption fell through (a very sad story). The great thing was that all these couples, who held babies in their arms, previously had the same struggles that Elisabeth and I deal with. They had moments of doubt, some lost hope, and yet in the end they became parents by receiving a gift they had waited so long for. Their blessing had come and their suffering ended. I was filled with excitement while at the same time Elisabeth was filled with fear and trepidation (this is consistent with all our meetings, we leave on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum). We ask for your continued prayers as we struggle through this time of waiting.

Elisabeth:
I asked Paul to write the above to let everyone know about the panel. I will just add that the reason for my fear is the reality of the fact that it could still be 3 years before we are so blessed with a child. This reality made me feel like we jumped the gun on registering, starting this site, sharing the fact we are adopting, etc. The other thing is that 3 of the 4 couples found out about their babies just days before they brought them home, again to reiterate that we really could get the call at any time. The unpredictability of adoption is terrifying!

i walked the line

Tonight, I did it. With "gun" in hand and friend at my side...i walked the aisles of Babies R Us. Paul and I have gone back and forth about the registry. Since we don't or won't know what we will need and when we will need it....it took a long time to decide...it is okay...we WILL have a baby!

We tried to do Babies R Us once before but failed miserably. After that attempt we perused the internet and established the first inklings of a registry. Tonight (bru take 2) has been on the calendar for weeks. With Paul out of town it was the perfect time for a girls night. It was wonderful to have a supportive, loving friend to lead me in to this vast abyss of crazy baby world and help me know what I will need and not need. Jen is so practical that Paul put his trust in her as a stand in. She did great and when she called later to make sure she wasn't too practical, I assured her that I still registered for a few things I wanted (over needing). :)

There is certainly no manual on how to do this the adoption way...but, it is a worry out of the way so that when the time comes - we can expend all our energy fussing over the gift that God has in store.

I don't want to think about it...I just want a baby!

I want to be a mommy! With all the excitement of the homestudy now over - and just waiting to start the waiting, the ebb has gone out and I feel it may be forever until we have a child. Of course the tide will come in again and I will freak out that it could be any day now.

One of my buds from the www is currently visiting her soon-to-be son in another country. The pictures of her and her husband holding their baby...well, it makes me wistful. So close, but yet, so far. As I type this a song on the radio is singing "hold on."

Home Visit Report

Yawn! Well, this was the morning. After a night of cleaning...and staying up to get dough to rise for the "Homestudy Cinnamon Buns" and a morning of anxious preparations...well, the home visit is completed. She came at 9, just as we were serving up the Cinnamon buns. It started with the tour - main floor, back deck, basement, office, upstairs bedrooms and bathroom. So that took about 3 minutes. I guess it takes a social worker looking over your shoulder to realize all the places where wires are exposed in our house (and there are a lot). I think our next major home improvement project will revolve around recovering our electrical box, and putting the light switch boxes back in the walls, etc. :)

We sat down at the table to talk. First question, so what are you going to do about a baby's room? Paul's response was "we are not doing a baby's room!" We discussed that our idea has been to keep the guest room as such and have the baby in our room through infancy. It is our hope that as they grow, maybe Paul will build a crib, or we will buy a crib and then have a guest room/toddler room. Of couse I didnt mention any of that and didn't think out how this would sound, but now I envision her saying to herself "they don't want to give the child a room?" Next question, so will you send your child to the Catholic school? "Well, we were thinking about homeschooling." (now I am thinking she thinks we are nuts) Paul explained his rationale, "I went to Catholic school and the theology was just off a bit and I know at public schools they usually just get this unnecessary stuff, we want to teach our children the truth." I followed up that we are not sure yet about schooling. :)

And then down the line comes the question of accepting a child of a different race or nationality. She asks "will you incorporate your child's customs into your family?" Should I give the response from the man who regularly sings "I am proud of my polish heritage!" After he explained the biblical idea of full inculturation into the family, I added that I have an eclectic background and do bring new traditions to the family. When she asked for questions, I decided not to mention anything yet about considering adoptive breast feeding. Enough nuttiness for one day!

Okay - so now I am busy reflecting on what we could have or should have said. Honestly, it was a good visit. I know that she can see we both so excited to welcome a child into our house and lives. Though I keep feeling the need to explain why we aren't "baby ready" - but she has done this for 16 years and probably knows. She said there is no reason we won't be approved. We still have to attend the adoptive parent panel, which will be held towards the end of September...and she needs to write up our homestudy report for approval. She thinks that our profile will be ready to be shown in October. We won't know when our profile is being shown - unless it is a circumstance that would require our approval. So - that is the update. Thanks to all for the prayers!!