The Long Wait

Knowing that the boys are likely leaving and then waiting for that to happen, it's grueling.  While a traditional love relationship would want to hang on, this sacrificial love relationship wants to let go.  Pull the band aid off.  Let's get it over with.

Add to that the uncertainty.  My greatest hope for the boys is the end up where they are supposed to be forever.  If that is with us, we promise them forever.  If that is with mom, unfortunately, the future is less certain.   Dear Lord, keep them from bouncing. 

I saw mom's "apartment" for the first time.  Only from the outside and the door way, but enough.  Enough to be fearful for them of them having enough.  Dear Lord, protect and provide for them. 

Christmas shopping for children that could be gone a month or two after is a bit tricky too.  Dear Lord, help us not to be materialistic, help us instead to shower them with love.

And Lord, for my family, I pray.  Give us peace, direction and aid for this long, long winter.

'Da Boys

Well, at this moment they are on the fast track for home.  Instead of transferring the case to adoption, the court & county gave mom a 6 month extension. 

To my surprise this does not mean they will be in our care for the next six months.  The county is hoping to start overnight visits as early as Christmas and then fast track them home by January or February.  

I am told this also depends on counselors clearing mom, which hasn't happened yet. 

We have slowly started to let them go, if only a little.  Our kids are fully aware and we have promised a fun weekend away for our family if and when they leave.   

The hardest part of letting them go is knowing the case could change at any moment.  I think it is pretty universal that we want to have a plan for our lives and our future.  In the world of foster care, there are no guarantees.  

So for now, our boys' room is full of 3.  Only God knows for how long.

It's been...

one year since they came to us;
got the call and we said "Oh my Gosh!"



It's crazy to think that after a year the roller coaster is still going and we don't know where it's leading these baby boys.  My last post about reunification....well, not too fast.  It was only going to take one trip up and there seems to be about three.  Suddenly we are tossing around boy's names again.

If you asked me which outcome I prefer, I honestly don't know.   I truly want what is the best for the boys.  And at this moment we are what is best for these boys.  For forever?  I don't know?   But for now.  They are put.

And I might have just driven through a car lot on my way home from a visit looking for roomier options.

One Week (Live)

Barenaked Ladies

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Lyrics

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room,
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
Cause it's never touched a frying pan

Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through

Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin, achin shake
I like vanilla, It's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show,
Cause then you'll know
The Vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous,
You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're 

One Week (Live)

Barenaked Ladies

Buy for $1.29

SUBSCRIBE

START FREE RADIO

Subscribe to Google Play Music and listen to this song and millions of other songs. First month free.

Lyrics

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room,
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
Cause it's never touched a frying pan

Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through

Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin, achin shake
I like vanilla, It's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show,
Cause then you'll know
The Vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous,
You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're 

heading to reunification?

So, well, hey there.  It's been forever.  It's time for an update from me.  We have had 6 kiddos in our home since Angel and Bullfrog arrived last August.  It is hard  to believe we are coming up on a year already.

We had court this morning and for the first time in our fostering career, we have a case moving towards reunification.  People ask me how I feel about that.  And the answer, I am not quite sure.

I was encouraged to be very open with one particular daughter, to help protect her as she clearly has attachments with them.  When I informed her they may be going back to their birth mother, her first response was "when can we foster again?"  That seems to be the consensus in this house.  No true element of sadness or recognition of the piece that will be missing from our lives.

And, to tell you the truth, I can't wrap my brain around that either.

There is a part of me that wants to just move on.  But, we know they are for sure in our care until the end of October.

Then there is the reality of our situation.  Having a 1, 2 and 3 year old at the same time is a challenge.  I am not resigned to having a first, second and third grader at the same time in our home school.  Or three in college at the same time.  A little more space between kids would be really nice.

My oldest want's to know when we can adopt an older child, as in she wants someone to be her buddy...as if sibling relationships were ever that easy.

Ideally, for me, we would be adopting the infant (Bullfrog) who has stolen my heart and I have a bit of mama bear defensiveness for at this point.  But, it is not likely they will be split and I see how hard that first-mom is working to get them back.  I hope that she keeps it up.  I hope that she can overcome the challenges of the past and make the life these boys deserve.

Until then, we march on and love them, really truly love them.  It's our job.