dry

dry.

The house, my hands, my desire to blog....

I have sat at the computer with intent and left with regret several times in the last weeks.

What I would have shared in a couple quick takes:
1. Paul's 94 year old Busia passed peacefully in her sleep after attending mass and celebrating the Polish Christmas eve dinner with her family.  Seriously I can not imagine a more beautiful way to pass.  I was grateful to be able to make the quick trip with my husband to celebrate her life.  Quick thanks to the family who made it possible for us to attend.

Rosie enjoying time with her pra-busia in October.  A memory & photo I cherish.

2.  Christmas was wonderful, full of family.  We finished our guest room in the nick of time.  A reveal that will have to wait for another day.

3. New Years Eve.  I quote my mom who said "most fun new years."  Pinterest style, I went to Party City and had balloons blown up to help us count down the hours.  In each balloon was a note.  Each hour, my alarm went off to summon the kids to pop a new balloon.

7pm - Make Caramel Apples
8pm - Make Soap Clouds
9pm - Play a Game
10pm - Watch a Movie
11pm - Sing Karaoke
12 pm - Make a Toast and Go to Bed!

The babies made it almost to 10pm and Rosie made it to celebrate midnight.  The evening was a blast.

4. The day after my mom left, I threw out my back.  I have never done this before and holy smokes...I do NOT recommend it.  I spent the first day in tears and with the help of my husband's ingenuity, was only able to lay down or get up using a table leaf as a back board.  I am slowing regaining movement and coming out from under almost a week of muscle relaxers and naproxin.

5. I hate hate hate HMOs.  Just for the record.

6. I am grateful for the women who have come forward and told me how much they appreciate or relate to my 30 days series.  Being completely honest in the blog world is a risk.  Especially for a foster mom.  My struggles have not ended, but I am strengthened with new resolve.  And each time someone thanks me for writing those posts, I am reminded to go back and read them.  Something I need to do regularly.

7. Did I miss the birthdays???  I forgot the birthdays!  Augie turned 3 and Catie turned 2!  We celebrated at a bounce house.  Best birthday ever for Augie, worst birthday ever for Catie.  Fortunately she enjoyed her cupcake.  I am amazed to look at my babies growing and think of how far we have come.

I am truly blessed to be mamma to these special little ones.  For as much as they challenge me, they are beautiful miraculous gifts straight from God.  He knew I needed them to purify me and bring me to my knees.  He knew they needed me, a mamma who would love them and do anything for them.  Happy Birthday to my babies.  I am grateful for you.

7 Quick Takes

1.  This has been an exciting and wonderful week.  Rosie turned 5!  It is hard to believe.  I am so grateful that God allowed me to experience pregnancy, childbirth and nursing (only after we had decided  adoption was how we were meant to grow our family).  She is a beuaituful little girl and an amazing big sister.  She loves dress up and fairytales more than anything.  She still winds up in our bed sometimes (last night).  She says goodbye way too many times and is our girl, through and through.   

This was just four hours after her birth center birth, as we prepared to go home. 

This was her 5th birthday breakfast.  Pancakes topped with whip cream and sprinkles.

2. As I sit and write this she is in day two of pre-k.  She is a new 5 in a class of 4 year olds.  She is the big kid and probably the oldest in her class.  It seems that from the day your child turns two, people begin asking when are you sending you son/daughter to school.  It is almost like a parental endurance race to see how long you can hold off (at least if you are a stay at home mom).

3.  Suddenly I have two little kids and no big kid.  Right now Augie is watercoloring next to me, something he has possibly never done before and Catie and I are working on potty training, as she is walking around leaving little puddles.  On Wed (Rosie's first day) I took the babies to the library and the playground.  Maybe not a big deal for a mom of one or two, but something I have never done with just them, and rarely do anymore as a group.  I interupt this blog to say "Yay!  Augie just peed in the potty for the second time in a row."  I will consider this time of just us a gift. 

4. I have a penchant for things free and cheap.  If I see something on the side of the road, I always slow down.  Last week I brought this baby home.  She just needs to be cleaned up (covers were off to be washed) and I am thinking of painting the wood work, though hubby votes no. 

I think it was a pretty nice road side couch. It was nice of the family to send their teenage son to help when they saw me, this crazy momma, pulling out the car seats and (trying to) single handly stuff this thing in my SUV. 

5. Car Shopping.  My husband bought a very used conversion van a few years ago for work.  I hate driving it for so many reasons.  When he purchased it (off craigslist) I did not test drive.  It was his car...but, sometimes spouses have to drive the other's car.  Learning from that experience, I just took a potential next car for a test drive.  His vote is for a minivan.  A minivan is tempting me to do a car swap.  Not sure what will happen next, we have the month to figure out.  My greatest hope is we do this debt free...(which is why...dad if you are reading...we are not shopping dealerships). 

6. Additional changes this week.  I have joined the world of smart phone.  Still getting adjusted.  Still not a huge adovate.  It will be nice for when we are on the road and need to look something up (AND I remember to bring it with me).   Also, my husband started his new job and the hours are such an impovement.  We had our first sunday sunday in ages.  A trip to the zoo followed by a polish festival.  Wonderful. 

7.  Here is the result of Augie's work. 

And here is a preview of something I made for tomorrow's "God's Little Princess" birthday party:

 

Happy Weekend.  Thanks Jen!

7 Quick Takes (v4)

1.  The big news tonight is walking.  Steps have officially been taken by our 18 month old, Catie.  I am thrilled.  She is pretty stiff legged and we have an appointment with an orthotist in two weeks for ankle braces.  But I am so proud of her!!

2.  PLEASE pray for my friend's unborn son Ryan.  He is 22 weeks in utero and has been diagnosed with a life threatening lung condition.  I am hoping to get his beautiful mom over to St Gianna's shrine to pray with her gloves.  They are also praying for St Gerard's intercession.  Two saints many of us know well. 

3. Yesterday was a tough one.  I joined a mom's spiritual support group.  In the middle of our already emotional meeting, a phone call came in about the Supreme Court decision.   So...whats the point in fighting for religious freedom?  I tried to take it all in.  It feels as if the hammer just came down and yesterday was a Roe v Wade type monumental day.  

4.  Today, I am thankful to see beauty rising from ashes.  If you have not yet, please get thee to 1flesh.org.  "Birth control has done nothing to reduce the rate of unplanned pregnancies, the Pill increases breast cancer risk, lowers female sex drive, and screws up the environment. We’re talking about how artificial contraception is one of the most falsely advertised products out there. We’re talking about how condoms ruin sex, how they’ve been remarkably ineffective in the fight against HIV, how they’ve done nothing to stop our modern explosion of STDs. We’re talking about the Pill and heart disease, about how the health benefits of oral contraceptives aren’t health benefits at all. We’re talking about the Pill’s potential to be an abortifacent, the bad philosophy behind artificial contraception, how contraception has increased the abortion rate, is linked to an increase in divorce, and how — in general — it’s been making relationships difficult for some time now.


Go here and Start Pinning!

5. Tomorrow is my 34th Birthday.  I am having my daughter take me to the movies.  We are going to see Brave.  So excited!  In the evening we will attempt a family dinner at my favorite (not so kid friendly) restaurant.  Pray for us!

6. I love the 6 word love story.  Check my last blog and add yours!

7. July 4th is a bit bittersweet this year.  Happy Weekend. 

what we've been up to (in pictures)

In the last 3 1/2 weeks we have:

Driven to Chicago and Back (round trip 26 hours) to visit our 93 year old pra-Busia (great grandmother)

Celebrating Thanksgiving Mass in the Nursing Home with my Brother in Law as celebrant

Stopped at the Flight 93 Memorial on the way home

Boulder Marks Impact Site

Marble Wall marks the Flight Path

and unborn child

I hosted and was the MC at our Advent by Candlelight for ~175 women

Then we hugged Catie and Papa goodbye, drove to Maryland and flew home to Florida for a long weekend


Celebrated Augie's 2nd Birthday in FL with grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin (and papa via skype)



Threw a baby shower for my sister in law, I made these for my Niece, idea from That's My Letter

Met up with a friend from Alabama

(pic to follow)

Flew Home

Decorated for Christmas, Cleaned House and Celebrated Catie's First Birthday with a Polish Feast (thanks to my husband, our caterer) 

Happy Birthday Catie girl!

And now...we are putting our feet up a bit and preparing for a quiet Christmas. 

Happy 4th week of Advent!

Sweet Baby One!

Today, I got to play the Gymboree leader for a wonderful birthday celebration. We had so much fun! Happy Birthday Baby!

Home Studying - take 3

As I mentioned last month, we have begun the process of our adoption home study (different than a foster home study). Officially, this is now our third home study...the first before we conceived H.

I sent an email to our references stating "it is that time of year again for our family." It seems as if they have done this a zillion times already for us. Well, just three, but still! We are grateful they keep saying nice things about us.

Tonight were the interviews. I am so glad it was much easier than the last two rounds. Usually they turn me into a blubbering fool. Tonight, my sticking point was when she asked me to describe my personality. I absolutely couldn't! Honestly, I gave her a dissertation about how being a parent was a total wake up call and I am struggling to find balance and coming to terms that I will never by the parent I always hoped to be, etc etc etc. It was a bit ugly. She asked if I considered myself organized. Humph. Well...I completely forgot I had incorrectly recorded our last appointment and she came to an empty house. Later in the conversation Paul mentioned my business and I said "oh yeah! I think I am good at that...and relatively organized." A little too late.

So, we handed over the packet. Everything about our lives, including our updated autobiographies. I think this was supposed to be a walk through visit and I am SO glad she said she trusted our other social worker. I didn't even think I would be showing our house.

Being gifted with our children, this home study is completely different than our first. If you follow my homestudy label, I am sure you can find that post. In a nutshell, I got up at 6am to bake "Homestudy Cinnamon Rolls" back then. Tonight's homes tudy, at 6pm...I am feeding my children at the table and we are munching pretzels for our own dinner. She declined the pretzels.

So, we found out that her absolute deadline to complete our homestudy (per our county) is Jan 27th. TPR is scheduled for Feb 28th. A closing visit, the last visit for mom, will happen before the end of Feb. Thinking of having that tearful visit around the corner (I witnessed another closing visit) is a reality check. My heart does go out to his mom.

Right now there is a definite possibility that one of the parents will appeal the TPR. I did find out from tonight's social worker that she has never heard of TPR being overturned. But, if that happens, our case could potentially drag out another year before finalization. I will be reminding you of that prayer request again closer to the time.

AND, we have had discussions about what type of contact we hope to have after TPR. I will have that for a later blog.

This morning, I spent a good bit of time shopping for first birthday supplies. We are having a small first birthday party "gymboree style" for SBR. I can't believe he is almost one! He has truly become a tremendous source of joy in our life.

Milestones

Our sweet baby boy has taken his first steps! Like any other parent, I captured it on film and am dying to show them off. It is so difficult to keep from sharing all the adorable pictures and milestones. I have this vision of making a video for adoption day and catching everyone up with pictures.

In just three weeks, he will be celebrating his first birthday (we will be having a "Gymboree Style" party in two). It was a bit interesting composing the invitation. I ended up with "Our Darling Son is Turning One" and leaving out a name altogether. In this in between time, he is becoming less of an "SBR". On video and in his baby book, I try to limit my writing of his given name, though his name does appear frequently in both. This is who he is right now. Maybe I just need a better nickname??

H is super excited about the birthday party. I think she is still holding out hope it will actually be a party for her. She talks about it all the time. I feel so bad for the baby...I rarely get a picture or video of him without her jumping in front of the camera and begging me to film her instead. For the first steps, I had to sequester her to her room...even still, the video is full of "MAMA DO YOU WANT SOME COFFEE??" as she is shouting in the background.

Over the last month or two SBR's bio dad has composed several letters to be read to his son. They are really sweet...and they tear at my heart. Dad clearly has not let go (again...we are thinking this will be an involuntary termination of rights) and talks about being together as a family, etc. It is in these instances I realize how different this process is from a traditional adoption. Even though birth parents most always long for their child....they are willingly giving them up. It adds an extra dimension to process when that is not the case. I am not sure exactly what to do with these letters. One may go in his baby book, but we are now considering a memento box to keep the rest tucked away. The last one especially....I have a hard time thinking of giving to him. I am so glad he has bio parents who love him so much. I really imagine it would be harder (eventually) if that was not the case. But, figuring out where we all fit together is the challenge.

We are traveling to VA for Thanksgiving (6 hrs) and so thrilled to spend the holiday with family and new babies we have not yet met. For Christmas we are driving to FL (20+ hours). It will be a crazy season of traveling. I am sure I will have some stories to tell.

God bless everyone reading and may you have a wonderful blessed Thanksgiving!!

Birthday Party

Here are a couple of pictures from H's party. Sorry for the delay, we have been having some computer problems of late!






Note to parents...red and black icing do NOT make for easy clean up! Lesson learned. :)

One Year Old!!!

We have spent the last couple days reflecting, tearing up and now...it's official. We have a one year old!! A gloriously wonderful, toddling, lovable, giggling, adorable (did I mention, wonderful) one year old baby girl. We had party, part 1, tonight with family. It began with Mass, and concluding with angel food cupcakes and a gifts. Saturday we will have party, part 2, and we are expecting Hurricane Hanna to rain us in. Ironic. :) I had hoped to update sooner...but obviously, our life has been chaotic. Chaotic, but wonderful. We moved, successfully on August 17th & 18th. We got busy immediately. My parents arrived later as reinforcements. I will try to update with pictures as more gets finished. For now, enjoy pictures from tonight and the last two weeks, don't miss the two video clips at the bottom!

a non-blogging month update

:) Sorry it's been so long! I have probably lost half my readers...but we are still here! H is growing faster every passing minute. I will get to her updates in a minute, but the reason we have been neglectful bloggers: we decided to sell our house. Due to a course of events that brought this to the forefront of our minds, I got moving and have been busy analyzing finances, interviewing agents, cleaning out our house...and finally, as of today, it is on the market! Pray for a quick sale and that there is something wonderful waiting for us on the other side of this deal.

Also, today, right before our agent came over - the door bell rang. And my birthday gift arrived in a big truck with the writing "P O T T E R Y B A R N" on the side! ACK!!

THIS is the wonderfully gorgeous, magnificent bed we now own! (thanks baby, i love it!!) :)

Speaking of birthdays...it is 3 days until my 3-0. The end of my youth! :-P But the beginning of so many wonderful, fabulous things ahead. Having H in my arms to celebrate turning 30 makes all the difference in the world. I am so blessed!

AND, Happy Birthday to Paul's Busia who just turned 90. We are so sorry we couldn't be there to celebrate - HUGS AND KISSES (and H screams) from PA.










AND - now, our H update. Mobility is exhausting! For us...not for H! She is getting into EVERYthing (exhibit A)













She is crawling, now climbing steps - EEK, standing up (almost on her own). Every day it is something new and exciting. There are 4 more teeth that just arrived; but apart from the extra pain - she is her usual uberly joyful self.

I will try to be better in the month of July, but don't hold me to it! If all goes well, we may be offline for a little while....but we will keep you updated.

Sharing Pictures

Hopefully when the baby comes I will be much more efficient at sharing pictures!! Here are a few from our activities in the past month.

Paul's 30th Birthday Party and then July in Steubenville (a special spot where Paul proposed 5+ years ago)