The SPICE it up Challenge

For those out there who have learned Creighton, you know about SPICE. This stands for the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative/Communicative and Emotional/psychological needs of your spouse.  The talking point is "while genital contact is to be avoided during the days of fertility, if your intention is to avoid pregnancy, "sexual" contact (SPICE - the broader concept of relationship) should never be avoided."  In other words, be extra willing to work on your marriage in other departments during times of abstinence.

One of my favorite parts of teaching CrM is facilitating the SPICE discussion. Probably about 90% of the time I end up recommending the book "The 5 Love Languages."  I will offer more on this in my next post.

When we first learned Creighton (and SPICE) it was the in midst of our struggle with infertility.  Avoiding pregnancy was not a concern.  In the wise words of my practitioner, couples dealing with infertility have to work just as hard, if not harder at their relationship. We were encouraged to make a list of 10 non-genital ways we could show love to our spouse, and then compare notes. At that time, we did all that we were asked, but I never fully brought SPICE into our marriage.

I am blogging this topic tonight as I am in need of a refresher course.  I am so blessed by my marriage of 9 years.  I could not ask for a better spouse or partner in life.  That said, is SO easy to be consumed by busyness, children, responsibilities...life, and forget the needs of your spouse.

Helpmate.  I am called to be a helpmate.  The etymology of the word, specifically points to Genesis 2:28, God's creation of woman to be a helper for man.  Most online dictionaries refer to helpmate as "specifically: wife". 

Spinning off from Magnify the Lord's Marriage Monday posts, for myself I am starting the SPICE it up challenge.  My prayer and goal this week is to have an understanding heart.  It is so easy to expect/demand help at the end of a long day.  Yet, at that time, I am the one called to be a helpmate (my love...if you are reading....I will do my best).

I am a fan of SPICE...but how has it impacted my marriage?  I can not ask others to do what I am not.

This week I shall:
 
S - pray for my husband daily
P - daily embrace initiated by me "just because"
I - 5 Love Language Assessment (more in a future post)
C - do the dishes joyfully
E - sit down with my husband when he arrives home & converse about the day

1000 reasons why I love and adore being a Fertility Care Practioner

Okay, so I know I won't list them all in this post, but there are easily that many reasons I am so blessed to have been called to this ministry.

First, for those that may be unfamiliar, Fertility Care is a system of charting your naturally occurring signs (i.e. cervical mucus) and biomarkers to determine times of fertility and infertility.  I teach women to chart and interpret these signs.  The best thing is that Physicians trained in NaPro Technology can READ A WOMAN'S CHART and use it to WORK WITH HER CYCLE.  This is phenomenal.  In our culture, physicians treat fertility as if it were a disease and infertility as a opportunity to play God.  God has given us the ability to read and interpret a woman's cycles and when a doctor can utilize that information, they can treat PMS, post postpartum depression, infertility, frequent miscarriage, and on and on.  They allow God to be God and the couple to achieve pregnancy naturally.  Testing and treatment is two to three times more effective than artificial reproductive options.

So, I am about to write an essay about 1000 reasons why I love NaPro Technology.  I will sum those 1000 reasons into one.  My daughter.  Rosie is the miracle that God blessed us with thanks to the help of NaPro Technology (she is pictured on the top of this website with Dr Hilgers).  My experiences with NaPro Technology paved the way to my path towards becoming an FCP.

This is my fifth year of blessing other couples with the gift of understanding their fertility.  I teach teenage girls with painful or irregular cycles through to pre-menopausal women seeking help with PMS.  I teach single women, engaged couples, married couples.  I walk with couples through their first pregnancy, through struggles with frequent miscarriages or infertility.  I teach friends.  I teach strangers.  I teach people that live down the road and people that live across the country (skype!).

By far, the most rewarding part of my work is teaching couples about SPICE.  SPICE stands for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative/Communicative and Emotional needs of your spouse.  I am not a marriage counselor but I have the opportunity to challenge couples to grow in their love and understanding of one another.  I am able to turn couples towards one another and get them talking.  When necessary, I refer to counselors or priests.  I listen to their hopes and dreams; their fears and frustrations.  I walk with them through the struggles and challenges of using a natural system.  I help them process the fears of achieving pregnancy and encourage them through the despair of bareness.

They are coming off the pill for reasons of faith or to avoid side effects (they all have side effects from the pill!).  They are coming from the IVF doctor, looking for another chance at conception.  They are coming from every faith and no faith.  All the while, I am connecting with them and teaching them about God (whether they know it or not).  I am reiterating their wedding vows and teaching the truths as taught in Theology of the Body.  

I never aspired to this work.  God paved the way.  He wants to bless these couples and I have the opportunity to help Him do that. 

My greatest hope is that more doctors embrace the gift of Creighton & NaPro Technology.  I have asked it a thousand times, my clients ask it again and again...."why don't more doctors know this?".  I probably refer 75% (or more) of my clients for NaPro care.  Dr Stegman and Dr Hilgers both work with couples from around the country (and around the world). 

I remember at one point my mother was concerned that I was going to a "Catholic" doctor for my infertility.  She has come around.  It saddens me that this is a stigma.  As it turns out, a physician with a relationship with God that is willing to follow the teachings of the Church is able to be an instrument for God.  And we all know that all blessings, miracles, gifts and graces ultimately come through Him.  He is the ultimate healer.



This said, while not every couple will conceive, there is so much more to Creighton and NaPro than "an opportunity to conceive".  So many infertility bloggers so gracefully reflect on this again and again.  My heart aches for these couples.  God has a special place in His heart for you.  God does hear your prayers.  God does know your pain.  God loves you more than you know. 


PS- 
If you feel like you might be interested in pursing FCP or Medical Consultant training, I would be happy to offer direction or answer questions.  You can look for training near you on this site.