For those out there who have learned Creighton, you know about SPICE. This stands for the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative/Communicative and Emotional/psychological needs of your spouse. The talking point is "while genital contact is to be avoided during the days of fertility, if your intention is to avoid pregnancy, "sexual" contact (SPICE - the broader concept of relationship) should never be avoided." In other words, be extra willing to work on your marriage in other departments during times of abstinence.
One of my favorite parts of teaching CrM is facilitating the SPICE discussion. Probably about 90% of the time I end up recommending the book "The 5 Love Languages." I will offer more on this in my next post.
When we first learned Creighton (and SPICE) it was the in midst of our struggle with infertility. Avoiding pregnancy was not a concern. In the wise words of my practitioner, couples dealing with infertility have to work just as hard, if not harder at their relationship. We were encouraged to make a list of 10 non-genital ways we could show love to our spouse, and then compare notes. At that time, we did all that we were asked, but I never fully brought SPICE into our marriage.
I am blogging this topic tonight as I am in need of a refresher course. I am so blessed by my marriage of 9 years. I could not ask for a better spouse or partner in life. That said, is SO easy to be consumed by busyness, children, responsibilities...life, and forget the needs of your spouse.
Helpmate. I am called to be a helpmate. The etymology of the word, specifically points to Genesis 2:28, God's creation of woman to be a helper for man. Most online dictionaries refer to helpmate as "specifically: wife".
Spinning off from Magnify the Lord's Marriage Monday posts, for myself I am starting the SPICE it up challenge. My prayer and goal this week is to have an understanding heart. It is so easy to expect/demand help at the end of a long day. Yet, at that time, I am the one called to be a helpmate (my love...if you are reading....I will do my best).
I am a fan of SPICE...but how has it impacted my marriage? I can not ask others to do what I am not.
This week I shall:
S - pray for my husband daily
P - daily embrace initiated by me "just because"
I - 5 Love Language Assessment (more in a future post)
C - do the dishes joyfully
E - sit down with my husband when he arrives home & converse about the day
1 comment:
Thank you for reminding me about SPICE! Though we learned about SPICE during our CrMS sessions, it was soon forgotten. I have realized how important it is to develop a strong relationship with your spouse and it requires a conscious effort. And it's a good idea to blog about new SPICE ideas every week.
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