not meant for us

A month ago I was helping out at a foster care fundraising event.  I met (and fell in love with) the most precious little baby girl.  She was smiley, cooey and so tiny for 5 months old.  What she lacked in size, she made up for in utter sweetness.  I knew the foster mom she was placed with was not an adoptive resource.  I went home, talked to Paul and called our social worker to inquire about her.  The social worker mentioned a kinship resource was being considered, but she would mention us to her supervisor.  A week later we got a call asking if we were serious about our interest in this little girl.  We were asked to attend a hospital training to learn how to care for her. 

We attended and Paul met her for the first time.  Beautiful smile.  Sparkling blue eyes.  A complete joy.  The kinship family showed up and we were trained together (they did not know we were there as a back up for them).  Initially my heart broke watching this older couple with her.  The woman was not able to comfort her and the man did not seem interested one iota.  The idea of her growing up in a family that was not utterly in love with her was tough. 

It seemed an easy, obvious choice to me.  God had other plans.  I found out today she is going with  her kinship family.  Evidently they have improved, man seems interested, woman is able to care for her.  I am glad for them.  We remain a back up family...but most likely, she is not intended for us.

I had mentioned her to Rosie and every so often she would bring up her name.  I told Rosie today that baby was going to stay with her family.  I was promptly informed that she would still like a sister.  I told her she has to pray to God for that.  Evidently she is already on the case.  She said she prayed for that when she was outside. 

It is relatively easy to let go of a babe that you have not yet fostered.  I fell in love but I did not bond.  We would have been delighted to parent her - but we trust in God's plan for our family.  That plan which right now includes anxiously awaiting an adoption date (hopefully within two weeks we will have a date and it will likely be in July).  One miracle at a time.