On Fostering

It has been almost two months since we began fostering. If you ask me now my response is "what a gift!" We love this little boy. We love being mamma and papa and H proudly declares every day "I'm a BIG sister." God has given us the gift and responsibility to care for this precious little boy. His smiles and sweet talk are all that we need to know he is where he needs to be right now.

I have decided that it is to my advantage to be the one to drop him off for his weekly parent visits. Seeing them and their interactions is a tremendous help in keeping perspective on my role as foster parent. "The goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification..."

At the same time I have his social worker keeping me posted about the status of things. It is pretty much the same report "his parents have a long way to go." From where we stand now we are looking at 8 months before the county would start discussion on termination of rights. This is actually shorter than our original time line of 15 months after placement. The social workers keep things in check for me. They are like the translators. I say "I heard blah blah blah" and they translate back "the reality is blah blah blah."

The reality is he will be here for a good bit of his first year. Two months in...I think I could send him home and know I did a good thing. Ask me the same question in 8 months....I don't know.

I have also met so many foster families who have grown their families though fostering. The county allows up to 6 children in a home at one time and so many foster families are "generous with children." Big hearts equal big families in the foster world. I met a woman in the elevator the other day with a 15 month old whom she is adopting and a BRAND newborn that was just placed with them. Another foster mom I see regularly is in the process of adopting her fourth.

From the financial side...this is amazing. I always always struggled with the question "why do I have to have 10, 20, 30K in the bank to become a parent?" When we talked about growing our family, we were committed to not incurring debt in the process. And...miraculously, we managed to become debt free not long after H was born. When the question is "why do I have to have so much $$$ in the bank to become a parent" - the answer is FOSTER! We receive a stipend for mileage for visits & doctor appointments, a daily stipend, clothing stipend (at placement). He is on medical assistance (state health care) and receives WIC to cover the cost of formula.

Fostering IS difficult. But it IS rewarding. I foresee us being foster parents for a while and pray this is the way God will allow us to grow the family we have always longed for.

For now, this is a complete blessing in our lives. I have a smiling baby in the swing next to me so excited to be awake at 9:30pm. Watching him grow, giving him kisses and snuggles, watching my daughter read him books and teach him to pray...we are blessed to be parents to this sweet sweet baby.