Saving a Life?

"Foster a child, foster a future"
"Saving the world one child at a time"
"Foster Care Foster Hope"

These are a few of the slogans that I have heard in the process of trying to recruit foster parents.

Is it just me that thinks about myself all the time?  When we set out to foster, we did so with the "selfish" desire to grow our family.  We did not start out thinking about what impact we may have upon a child.

I am certain there does exist in this world those truly amazing people who would foster to make a difference in the life of a child.  God bless those generous souls.  I did not start out thinking about "them", I started out thinking about "me".

Now that I have met the most amazingly adorable little monkey I will soon officially call my son, I am starting to see the impact that foster care can have on "them".

I was told recently by Augie's early intervention coordinator about the significance of a loving home environment.  She pointed out his improvements as related to being in our care, rather then the home environment he may otherwise have been raised within.  She does not know the circumstances from which he was removed.  I do.  When I think about the crazy love bug I know as Augie and imagine his "other" life, I rejoice that he is here.  WE are so blessed to have him as a part of our family.

We were recently presented with a scenario that has me thinking about biological (kinship) family versus traditional (stranger) foster parents, like us.  There was a biological aunt in the process of trying to foster-adopt Augie, through the first several months of his placement with us.  It was a little nerve wrecking.  We were told, incorrectly, that she had completed everything in her state and was just waiting on clearance from our state & county to get him.  We later found out she never completed the process required of her.  Augie is very blessed to have bio-parents who adore him.  A kinship placement would give him the opportunity to be raised in his family culture and perhaps more opportunity to connect with his bio-parents.  It is not for me to judge, but I say with certainty, his life would have been so so different.  We certainly hope to maintain some connection with his bio-parents and allow a connection as far as we deem appropriate.  At some point, we face the inevitable discussions and hope that he will be secure in our love and rooted in our (his) values. 

The scenario I mentioned above has not yet unfolded.  There are two very different possible paths ahead.  Life "A" or Life "B".  The situation is out of our hands and we trust in God's wisdom.

For the first time I am starting to see my role of a foster parent differently.  My heart is growing in generosity.  It is not just me that I am doing this for anymore.  Don't get me wrong, the "me" is still a huge part of this...but when you start meeting kids - things change.  They matter more. 

I still don't think I will ever figure out how to respond to all the people that call us "hero" or say they could never ever be a foster parent.  From my vantage point now, I am unsure how I could ever go through a traditional adoption process.  When you walk in with the knowledge "the goal of foster care is reunification" it is as if your heart is prepped (just a bit).

So the slogans are usually for the purpose of recruiting.  I am not sure how well they work.  Word of mouth and witnessing others going through this process is what got us in the door.  Now that we are in...I think we will stay awhile.  :)


This post is part of Foster2Forever.com's May Blog Hop celebrating National Foster Care Month.