We had a review hearing today. It was the biggest wait for the least dramatic 2 minutes of my life.
The last week has been insanely crazy:
Tuesday Feb 14- Foster Care home re-evaluation by our social worker. We stink at homestudies these days. I will just say our 5th home study is SO different than our first. This is the picture - messy rooms (forgot she had to look in them), plugging the outlets as we walked by them, locking the cabinets as we walked by them, oh yeah...I forgot we happen to have electrical wires hanging from our downstairs ceiling at the moment, I printed out our escape chart as she waited...the kicker, I had to send my BIL to the store to buy another smoke detector (during the home visit!).
Wed Feb 15 - Closing visit with bio mom...see previous post for details on that one (big kids at sitters)
Thursday Feb 16 - Social worker visit (by Catie's social worker). Later our adoption social worker came over to have us sign papers and pick up what she needs for our adoption home study, PLUS, OT for Catie.
Monday Feb 17th - Creighton appointment - (kids at sitters)
Tuesday Feb 18th - Creighton appointment, followed by court (big kids at sitters). We arrived at 3pm. We sat in the waiting room until 4.45pm. Evidently you NEVER want to have court scheduled for the day after a holiday. We waiting downstairs another 10 minutes before we went into the "makeshift court room" for literally 2 minutes. The master said "you're still here? You didn't have to stay for this." Um, yeah. Wish someone would have told me that a few hours ago.
Tomorrow is Mass followed by a family visit with bio-aunt, followed by OT. And then, I think we can breathe for a few days.
I will say...for the record - sitting in the waiting room of CYS for an extended period of time is gut wrenching. I got involved with two other families and their CYS drama. One sibling group of four. The mom came back from court and sat in the room in tears hugging all her kids as foster mom explained that mom is sad because they can not go home yet. Second was a sibling group of five, split among three foster families. Parental rights were terminated. No resource available to take all five.
For so long we waited for a child. We prayed, we begged God. I was unsure if I would ever be so blessed. Now, I am so blessed to be a mom. And I see SO many kids who need a family. Sitting in the waiting room is so different than browsing photo listings on your state website. I know families that want kids and I see kids that need families. And I can't do much more than pray they find each other somehow.
Showing posts with label court. Show all posts
Showing posts with label court. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
and the verdict....
Baby love is staying put!!
I can't believe I haven't updated the blog yet. We got the call as we were driving to our vacay weekend on Thursday. I love that I can update FB from my cell. I haven't figured out how to update the blog this way yet.
The judge entered the verdict. It is in baby loves best interest to stay put with our family. No visitation was mandated.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
This is such a relief. I have been trying to write a blog on open adoption that shall get published eventually. For now, it is just us and baby love. Literally. The last two weeks of family visits have been cancelled by BL's bio parents.
So, I am looking to the fall and scrambling to make adjustments to be full time mama to 3. I had a tricky evening last night trying to bring the kiddos out in public by myself. Praise God for Augie's guardian angel because I can not keep him safe on my own!
A friend on another forum mentioned "it is raining babies at your house." This phrase is echoing through my head. It indeed feels this way. I am truly truly blessed!
I can't believe I haven't updated the blog yet. We got the call as we were driving to our vacay weekend on Thursday. I love that I can update FB from my cell. I haven't figured out how to update the blog this way yet.
The judge entered the verdict. It is in baby loves best interest to stay put with our family. No visitation was mandated.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
This is such a relief. I have been trying to write a blog on open adoption that shall get published eventually. For now, it is just us and baby love. Literally. The last two weeks of family visits have been cancelled by BL's bio parents.
So, I am looking to the fall and scrambling to make adjustments to be full time mama to 3. I had a tricky evening last night trying to bring the kiddos out in public by myself. Praise God for Augie's guardian angel because I can not keep him safe on my own!
A friend on another forum mentioned "it is raining babies at your house." This phrase is echoing through my head. It indeed feels this way. I am truly truly blessed!
Friday, August 26, 2011
all i know
All I know is that God has brought us in this little girl's life to fight like hell for her. When I first fell in love with her sweet face and called our social worker, I had no idea what I was signing up for. That said, I would not trade this position for anything. I am happy to fight.
We arrived to the courthouse fifteen minutes early. Our social worker saw us and pulled us aside "we need to talk." "We need to put you on the stand." Well, I am glad we dressed nicely, though I would have traded out my fancy flip flops for a nicer shoe. We were asked to testify about our relationship with her, how much we love her, how we understand her health risks and are willing to be a part of her life long term. After several rounds of testimony, including my own, the judge asked the lawyers to join her out of the court room. Everyone came back in. "Please Rise." The judge explained that she is unable to make the decision today and said she would need a "long while" to mull over this case.
"Mrs BHB" (me) she said (the caseworker leans back and said "stand up"). "When you express your willingness to have an open relationship with the family, what does that look like to you? How often would you have contact?"
Having not thought this through nor discussed with my husband I replied "I could see visitation happening at least monthly, depending on how everything is going."
"And do you see yourselves being involved with them to celebrate holidays and birthdays? What might that look like?"
"Our families are out of state and we often travel for the holidays, but I am willing to have visits around those times or certainly share birthdays."
This judge seriously SERIOUSLY values OPEN family relationships and went on and on and ON about the importance of close contact with the family. I felt that she essentially wanted us to adopt them and them to adopt us. She discussed new laws and how the times are changing and how family relationships are SO important to maintain.
Then she looked at the aunt. This aunt who has basically said she wants all or nothing. She is the caretaker/adoptive mother of this child or she does not want contact. The judge asked her, begged her really, to reconsider. She tried to empathize with the emotional aspect and difficulties of this situation. She said she feels that it would be best for baby love to remain in our care and maintain a close relationship with her aunt. This would be "the best of both worlds."
She explained that she would need time to think and would enter her verdict some time next week. As we all left the court room, you could cut the tension with a knife. I held the door open as the family exited. I saw baby love playing with my husband across the room. The only one who came to say hello to BL was bio-mom. Then the barrage of "family" left to continue conversation with the lawyer. Our social workers made sure we got on the elevator. The doors closed. And that was that.
All in all, I have now offered far more testimony in the case of baby love, then in the case of Augie (where I said maybe 10 emotional words at his adoption hearing).
We continue to wait...and pray.
We arrived to the courthouse fifteen minutes early. Our social worker saw us and pulled us aside "we need to talk." "We need to put you on the stand." Well, I am glad we dressed nicely, though I would have traded out my fancy flip flops for a nicer shoe. We were asked to testify about our relationship with her, how much we love her, how we understand her health risks and are willing to be a part of her life long term. After several rounds of testimony, including my own, the judge asked the lawyers to join her out of the court room. Everyone came back in. "Please Rise." The judge explained that she is unable to make the decision today and said she would need a "long while" to mull over this case.
"Mrs BHB" (me) she said (the caseworker leans back and said "stand up"). "When you express your willingness to have an open relationship with the family, what does that look like to you? How often would you have contact?"
Having not thought this through nor discussed with my husband I replied "I could see visitation happening at least monthly, depending on how everything is going."
"And do you see yourselves being involved with them to celebrate holidays and birthdays? What might that look like?"
"Our families are out of state and we often travel for the holidays, but I am willing to have visits around those times or certainly share birthdays."
This judge seriously SERIOUSLY values OPEN family relationships and went on and on and ON about the importance of close contact with the family. I felt that she essentially wanted us to adopt them and them to adopt us. She discussed new laws and how the times are changing and how family relationships are SO important to maintain.
Then she looked at the aunt. This aunt who has basically said she wants all or nothing. She is the caretaker/adoptive mother of this child or she does not want contact. The judge asked her, begged her really, to reconsider. She tried to empathize with the emotional aspect and difficulties of this situation. She said she feels that it would be best for baby love to remain in our care and maintain a close relationship with her aunt. This would be "the best of both worlds."
She explained that she would need time to think and would enter her verdict some time next week. As we all left the court room, you could cut the tension with a knife. I held the door open as the family exited. I saw baby love playing with my husband across the room. The only one who came to say hello to BL was bio-mom. Then the barrage of "family" left to continue conversation with the lawyer. Our social workers made sure we got on the elevator. The doors closed. And that was that.
All in all, I have now offered far more testimony in the case of baby love, then in the case of Augie (where I said maybe 10 emotional words at his adoption hearing).
We continue to wait...and pray.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
exhausted
This is not the first time we have had sweet baby love, but this is the first time it is official. That combined with returning from vacation (including having a wrecked house) plus end/beginning of new cycle. I am exhausted. And SOOOO blessed!
Tonight we brought the family to mass at a retreat center. There was one other well behaved child. Then there were our kids. I felt like a complete mess passing children back and forth and trying to scold our poorly behaved (almost) 4 year old. I was not the picture perfect Catholic mom with pleasant children. I was one of those moms.
I thought I was ready for this. I have to remember that family transition is not easy. Clean clothes and clean house are not my priorities. (I am typing this out as a visual note to myself). As I write I can see that this is really Satan feeding me thoughts of doubt, self pity, lack of parenting skills, etc.
Next week will be my first full week of visit drop off/pick ups. She has a pretty big list of visits. Two four hour visits and two one and a half hour visits. This is more than Blaise had. How on earth foster mom #1 kept up with this is beyond me.
The good news, I honestly think she is the best behaved of my 3. She is such an easy baby. We splurged last week on pictures and a nice baby book (heralding her official entrance to our family).
While I try to speculate the "what if's"; I think it wise just to enjoy our time together. I can't imagine her transferring though I have to be emotionally prepared for that possibility. Three more weeks until our next hurdle (court on 8/26). I take consolation in the knowledge that God has brought her into our lives for a reason. Everything has been miraculously and systematically orchestrated by His hand.
Tonight we brought the family to mass at a retreat center. There was one other well behaved child. Then there were our kids. I felt like a complete mess passing children back and forth and trying to scold our poorly behaved (almost) 4 year old. I was not the picture perfect Catholic mom with pleasant children. I was one of those moms.
I thought I was ready for this. I have to remember that family transition is not easy. Clean clothes and clean house are not my priorities. (I am typing this out as a visual note to myself). As I write I can see that this is really Satan feeding me thoughts of doubt, self pity, lack of parenting skills, etc.
Next week will be my first full week of visit drop off/pick ups. She has a pretty big list of visits. Two four hour visits and two one and a half hour visits. This is more than Blaise had. How on earth foster mom #1 kept up with this is beyond me.
The good news, I honestly think she is the best behaved of my 3. She is such an easy baby. We splurged last week on pictures and a nice baby book (heralding her official entrance to our family).
While I try to speculate the "what if's"; I think it wise just to enjoy our time together. I can't imagine her transferring though I have to be emotionally prepared for that possibility. Three more weeks until our next hurdle (court on 8/26). I take consolation in the knowledge that God has brought her into our lives for a reason. Everything has been miraculously and systematically orchestrated by His hand.
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