Update on Melanie

and Praise God...it is GOOD NEWS!

These updates were found online from this morning:

9am (AZ Time) 7/30/10 Kemi Ndolo posted this note to Facebook: “Melanie Pritchard has to be one of the strongest women I know…she has overcome an amniotic fluid embolism, DIC, lung failure and heart failure. The only tube left in her is an iV with saline drip. Incredible turnaround since two night’s ago. She will see her baby for the first time tomorrow morning!!! Continue to pray for Mel, Doug, and their precious children.”


11am (AZ Time) From Brooke Burns: “Chris, this is the website that you can post on your site to financially support Mel and Doug due to insurance not covering all of their costs and Mel will be in recovery for months.
It’s a paypal link that will go directly into Doug’s account. Please spread the word like wildfire.

The latest update on Mel is that she is with her baby Ella right now as we speak…UNBELIEVABLE! My sister and I saw her last night. She is coherent and recognized us and was able to say I love you. She is in a tremendous amount of pain and has a long, long road of recovery from here.”

I went out in a limb on this and actually BELIEVED the prayers would save her. And Holy Smokes...it's working!! Continue to join me in praying in thanksgiving for this miracle in progress. THIS is a website to follow for updates.

Pray for Melanie

This is a woman I have never met. We prayed for her tonight at the Congress. She is suffering complications from childbirth and is near death. She is fiercely pro-life. I found an article about her online

Theology of the Body Congress, Day 1

from an email...I apologize I am a bit too tired to transcribe to the blog world:
What a GIFT and what amazing timing God has to have planned this Congress for this time. Kristin was a little bummed when she saw the online streaming option of $79 over the $500 price tag she is paying...however I KNOW we are here for networking.

What an incredible, amazing, historic event going on right now in Blue Bell. The speakers are...well, this is just blowing me away.
Follow our Schedule!
The day started with a talk from Fr Brian Bransfield. He was fantastic. I totally recommend him. Then Kristin and I split paths and I heard Bill Donahagy speak on "TOB & The Eucharist" while Kristin went to Dr Mango's talk on "Understanding the Opposite Sex." We also split paths for the Panels - she choose the Same Sex 'Marriage' panel while I went to Humanae Vitae and TOB. In my panel I heard Dr Colosi, Dr Waldstien & Dr Pia de Solenni - where we just sat and watched brilliant minds work.

And, again, the reason we are here...networking. Through a conversation, which I misunderstood (Holy Spirit at work) - Kristin and I had a impromptu meeting with Matt Pinto (President of Ascension Press) and Damon Owens. Matt is so excited to help us with whatever we need. He was brainstorming what a "dream' Diocese would look like from top down for Theology of the Body implementation. Kristin and I both got shivers as he mentioned so many ideas that are currently in the works at our Dio (Marriage Prep, high schools, speaking to the priests). He also discussed his dream of having Theology of the Body offices/organizations/affiliates in every diocese. He pulled out a page and starting drawing an outline. He offered us his assistance, including speaking at the Come & See to present JFM and answer questions, and coming up with an aesthetically pleasing strategy for implementation (Diocese Game Plan) - using resources/printing available at Ascension Press - it is great to have friends in high places.

Praise God that I get to have this little "retreat"/amazing conference in the midst of motherhood. Off to bed, then day 2.

so stoked

Tomorrow through Friday I will be attending the Theology of the Body Congress. When I sent in my registration, it was half heatedly. Now, I know, without a doubt, God has intented me to attend this event. I am so stoked! Wonderful, because it is a business expense.

Right now, in our diocese, I am blessed to be a part of some powerful meetings that will altar our marriage prep (and then hopefully many other things). SO, for the next couple of days I will be surrounded by Catholic celebs soaking up the amazing truths of TOB. I can't wait!

who sleeps like this?

I had a friend who ran a "who sleeps like this" series for her little girl. My little girl only slept in designated sleeping area...until now, of course. Our foster bebe, however, sleeps where he falls. Tonight was a good example. He litterally passed out on his own lap. :) Funny kid.

Paternity

under question.

I got an email stating that paternity is under question (foster son was swabbed today). However, can anyone tell me what this would mean: "father is still the legal father, we are trying to figure out if he is the biological father"? If he is not the bio dad, how is he the legal father? Because his name is on the birth cert?

I am also not sure how long results take. Any ideas? If the answer were that dad is not bio dad, it would change the situation on so many levels. One one hand, would now-assumed bio great aunt still pursue him if there was no bio? On the other hand...well, there would be an infinite number of possibilities that could mean an infinite number of months waiting.

watching supernanny

Recently, our daughter has left the "terrible twos" and very poignantly stomped into the torrential threes. Mind you, I am writing this on what began as our infertility blog. I am SOOO grateful to have her. 80% of the time we adore her and can just watch with awe and amazement what God has brought into our lives. The other 20% of the time (maybe just a bit more :) are quite challenging.

Before kids we used to watch Supernanny quite a bit. That was helpful when we started the adoption process and had to write up our plans for discipline. Supernanny was all we really knew, apart from the discipline with which we were each raised. We were both spanked. I don't think either of us were out and out against spanking - but with both home studies, we were encouraged to use non-physical forms of discipline. I feel like time outs are a much better form of parent anger management. Following through with the steps takes more effort and attention than spanking, while encouraging a calm firmness.

Lately, DH & I have both slipped - in follow through and effectiveness. Over the last month I have said multiple times "we need supernanny!" Regarding child rearing, my father has said "it is the parent's job to create the box (the boundries) for the child. It is the child's job to push on the box." Recently, I feel H has steem rolled our box. SO, time to regroup, watch a few episodes of supernanny, dust off The Discipline Book by Dr Sears and come up with a game plan for "the threes". We need a new box!

Tonight I watched The Mann Family episode on hulu. It goes over the time out technique and the sleep technique. We definitely need a refresher on time outs and it is time to kick in the sleep technique. I told my husband that I am really just adding this blog for him so that we can get back on the same page. Child rearing is by far the most challenging job one could ever have....and I am so grateful for it.

Traveling Sleeper

H has been in a big girl bed for about 2 months now. She has been potty trained for well over a year. I tried, a few weeks back, to convince her that when she needed to use the potty, to just get up and go. While this "freedom" has not yet resulted in her leaving her bed to arrive at the potty, she has arrived (and passed out) in a number of new locations. While this may not be Supernanny approved, I don't mind too much...yet. My only complaint is the rush of fear when I go to kiss her in her bed and she is not there. OR, walking into the living room (tonight) and seeing a body on the couch. Her favorite place to land is my side of the bed - and if I try to share, she will fight me for that space.

I do believe this is someone connected from our co-sleeping past (the first year). Perhaps soon we will look up some old Supernanny clips for help...but for now, we enjoy her antics - even the sleep'capades.

Update to add more pictures...an hour after I posted this, I moved her to her bed and went back to chat with my husband. She relocated herself to my bed. Will try again soon to move her back so I can sleep in my bed.

Ergo Wonderful!

Here is a quick pic of me and foster bebe and the Ergo-wonderful I received in the mail as a very unexpected surprise birthday gift.

As I have been struggling with bonding issues and not practicing attachment parenting (as I did with my daughter), this was exactly what I needed. It came at a great time and my daughter, foster baby, hubby and I all love it.

It will be traveling with me to the beach tomorrow. As another friend mentioned...if only I had two, I could carry my 3 year old on my back and be a true sherpa woman...lol.

My Stock Photo Baby

Being new to blog-networking, I thought I would share an old photo. I know many blogger girls are in NaPro care. If you ever see this photo of Dr Hilgers with baby...she is mine! This is my NaPro miracle. She can be found at the top of Dr Hilger's blog as well as recent PPVI mailings.

happy baby

While waiting for "SBR's" parents to show for his visit, I was talking with a visit supervisor - one whom I had not yet met. She had previously worked with SBR's parents and was familiar with his case. She made the comment that he was the saddest baby she had ever met...thin and unhappy. This is not the child we know. Our SBR is the happiest baby you could meet. He is so laid back and loves to smile and talk to people. We recently had pictures done and the photographer had him wrapped up in under 5 minutes because he was smiley.

The visit supervisor was discussing the first time she ever disagreed with a social worker's decision was when SBR's social worker left him with his parents (rather than placing him straight in foster care). This discussion was the first time I ever thought or wondered about the first 2.5 months of his life. And while we were having the conversation, 15 minutes elapsed...his parents did not show for the visit. This was the first no-show visit (there have been two previous canceled visits).

All this makes me feel grateful he is with us, and where he needs to be right now. Tomorrow, however, I am bringing him back for a visit with his great-aunt. "GA" (great aunt) was recently approved in another state to be a foster parent in an attempt to get SBR. From the beginning, we understood her to be our biggest hurdle...so to speak. So far she has not done what she needs to do (visit frequently) but of course I wonder, and fear, he will eventually go to her. I can not see this happening...but the biggest miracle to me would be for her to realize he is where he needs to be as well. If you are following our case, please pray for this visit tomorrow and for her to not have baby fever.

80 months

So I was thinking recently...and doing a little math. I estimate that I have spent approximately 80 months of my life trying to achieve pregnancy. If I had the fertility of a Duggar, I could probably have about 6 kids by now. Granted not all 80 months were spent "TRYING" - but there was not a month we were not open to conception.

Secondary infertility is nothing compared to the pain of primary infertility. I am eternally grateful that God has given us our beautiful daughter and now called us to be foster parents. My heart does still ache, however, to hear updates on fertile growing families and wish we had their fertility. God gave us this life, this cross. I am not crazy about it, but it is mine and I would not trade it.

From my cross comes my mission and I have been blessed to help others carry their crosses this past year. I consider running the infertility retreat a gift. I am speaking more about NaPro and lately, more doors are opening towards our mission in our diocese. I pray that my witness continues to lead others towards answers and blessings in their own lives. I was thrilled last week when I received in the mail the birth announcement for my first infertility client miracle baby.

On another note, I have been reading more infertility blogs and signed up recently to be a part of a summer secret prayer partner group. I am grateful for my assignment, my call to holiness...and someone out there...I will be praying for you!

mama bliss

Last night was a moment of mama bliss. It was my birthday. After dinner at my favorite restaurant and my annual whoppie pie cake, I was actually thoroughly enjoying putting the kids to bed. H loves for us to lay with her and is famous for saying "mamma will you lay wiss me?". SBR was having difficulty getting settled so I moved him over to the big girl bed, cuddling him on one side and her on the other. H kept pulling my face over to her just to make sure she was getting sufficient snuggling. It was a gift to be needed and shared by my kids and just lay there with them feeling the love.

After 5 years of primary infertility and now 2 plus of secondary infertility, I consider it a gift beyond all belief to have experienced that moment.

Yesterday morning we did have another social worker visit. She discussed much more at length what will happen when they "pass the case" this fall. Translation: when they change the goal to adoption SBR will get a new social worker to coordinate termination and adoption. I later asked Paul how he felt about the discussion. His comments were "she feels this is heading towards adoption, but for me, nothing has changed." She also talked briefly about what point we would want to start thinking of names, etc. Bottom line, we are not there yet. As of today SBR has been in our care for 4 months. At 6 months in our care the case CAN be passed. There are still a great deal of things that can happen (bio family get's it together, kinship family work out, bio parents refuse to sign termination and he remains in our care for another year or more without imminent adoption) OR this could go through smoothly and we adopt by the end of the year.

For now...we just keep loving on this little boy.

Wedding Weekend

This weekend was my brother's wedding and we had a wonderful time. H was so grown up and so cute marching around with her purse (from aunt meagan) and her sunglasses and hair done. She did exceptionally well...except for the actual wedding. I spent most of the wedding trying to figure out the appropriate time for momma (a bridesmaid) to take the flower girl to the back to calm her down. In the end, we waited it out. Everyone loved meeting "SBR" and we get so many comments on what a great, laid back baby he is. Thanks be to God! I am so grateful we got a foster son with the personality of a number two. He IS great and it was so nice to be able to introduce him to everyone.

The night ended with the reception and the funniest moment was when someone suggested to H her basket would make a nice hat. She took her flowers right out of the basket, put it on her head and walked out into her introduction like the crazy kid she is.

silly side note

about the new blog, Paul mentioned the fields looked quite fertile. hmmm....not appropriate? Well, I think they are prettier than the desert pictures. Hope wins this time buddy.

inch by inch

"Cousin Love"

My parents were in town this weekend. We were able to spend Father's day with my parents and my Sister in law's family. It was wonderful for our daughter and foster son to get some cousin time. H is 2 years older than her cousin and SBR is 3 months younger. Not living close to my nephew it was sheer joy getting to see how much he has grown. He looks so much like my brother and makes the funniest grunting/laugh sounds. H had so much fun pushing her cousin on the swing and my sister in law overheard H say "he's my boy."

Meanwhile, SBR has won over my family. I am sure they are in love. We are going to my brother's wedding this weekend. SBR is coming along as family, of course. Apart from a baptism, this will be the first big event where we are introducing him. I know he will win everyone's hearts with the killer smile that he uses all the time. I was wondering what questions I may get this weekend. On quick reflection, I have actually already fielded questions such as "how on earth could you ever do that?" and heard numerous foster care horror stories. But so far our extended family is awesome and supportive about this.

And just a post script, every day he makes his way just a little deeper in my heart. Right now I would say we have a love love relationship...it helps when he is sleeping through the night! At one point I spent a few hours day dreaming about possible names, but I had to stop and decided to try not to be adoption minded until the courts are clearly adoption minded. Our next court date is in October and I know the next 4 months will reveal a LOT.

click Refresh

It is crazy to think I have been blogging for 4 years. So much has changed. We started this to keep family updated on our adoption process. Then, it became the place to share news and updates about our miracle conception. Then, the proud new mommy blog. Then, secondary infertility blog which lead to the foster care parent blog. Amazingly enough, the title still applies. We are still striving to grow our family and happy to have this place to share updates of the more personal, journaling type nature.

Blogspot was offering new templates, so I am opting to try to stay fresh and update this space just a bit. Hopefully a new look will encourage more blogging. :)

"Is he adopted?"

Tonight we went to a kid's picnic at our parish. The daughter of a friend came up as I was holding our chunk and asked "is he adopted?" I put her off because we were about the pray grace and she wondered off sparing me from explaining. How do you explain fostering to a child?

I love this little kid. That said...he is teething right now. My husband reminds me we had these very same frustrations with H. It is difficult to love any child when you have been up all night four nights in a row. Yet, I can't deny how totally different it is from #1 (biological) to #2 (foster). We meet his needs, feed him like crazy, burp, clean diapers, and on and on. We love on him, cuddle, snuggle and play. The biggest difference is perhaps that we are not doing attachment parenting with "SBR". I always forget to bring my slings out, I have never felt co-sleeping was an option for us (whereas it was the natural development with H); And it is much easier to pass him to a stranger for babysitting - because there are no b--bs involved. Yet, I am still more of his mama than his mama is. We would 1000 percent be elated for the opportunity to keep him forever. I think everything else just boils down to being guarded.

This week was the first week that I felt a "look" from him when I passed him off at his parent visit. He has the sweetest eyes - which happen to be a little bit clogged and therefore a little bit moist...all the time. I know we have A bond. I just always question - how much, and wonder if it is enough. Before too long he will start to reach for me, as mama. It feels like a long way off until October (our next court date). But the days go fast enough. So we just wait. And hope that the next time I get that question, "is he adopted?" I can simply say "yes!"

Caring for another's child

Tonight, as I was putting my sweet girl to bed I looked at her and said "YOU came from me. I can't believe you came from me." She told me, as she understands, she came from my belly, but her brother came from another mamma's belly.

Yes, my love. You are so smart!

I adore our foster son. He has a smile and a laugh that can brighten the darkest day. He has such a special place in our lives, in our home. Yet, for now, he remains the child of another. In the hard times, this is most difficult. I fear I give less when it gets tough. Then I have to remember, every mother with a number 1 probably gives less to number 2 - simply because number 1 still needs.

Am I attached? I don't know. I think God has given me a special grace to love and care for this sweet boy - without complete attachment. I fear not having that complete attachment...but if it is meant to be, it will come, I am sure.

We had a foster appreciation banquet tonight. I had another mom that is not in a position to adopt tell me how lucky I am that we can do that. She is facing giving up the infant they have raised for 6 months. Lucky. My hands are full when I leave the house (even on the third time out the door). My daughter has a "brudder", whom she adores. My husband has a son. I have a son. For how long? Will I be "lucky" a year from now? I can only dream that God has led us right here for this reason. That one day I will explain to our child, you came from another mamma's womb, but you have been in my heart forever.

Hope Renewed

So...I might as well just catch up on all my blogging...right? :)

The Hope Retreat was this past Saturday. It got close to not happening as our numbers were lower than we planned. However, God intended this retreat to happen. There was 17 of us, including our speaker who claimed she was attending the retreat too.

As the retreat host, I felt the time crunch through the day and the pressure to keep things moving. Despite this, I managed to experience some very good moments. Christine Wittman, our first keynote, a Catholic therapist did a beautiful job of challenging us to dispel the myths of infertility. Things like "you are alone in your struggle", "this is your fault", "God doesn't love you". Christine lead us through the process of rewriting these to truth and redirecting to positive thoughts.

Paul and I were a part of the panel and shared our story from infertility surgeries to the adoption process, to conception, to secondary IF & surgery to fostering. We were joined with another couple that dealt with combined fertility issues (male & female) for 6 years before concieving (my retreat co-host and her husband).

After lunch we had time with Jesus in adoration and confession. Paul jumped when I asked him to play guitar at the last second and did an amazing job of providing soft reflection music.

Christine then led a group segment. Our chairs were in a circle and the empty chair among us became "Infertility." We all had a chance to say what we needed to say to "Infertility." My favorite moment of the day happened when the man next to me said forcefully "Infertility...you owe me a LOT of money." We all cracked up. Humor is good. The most rewarding part of this segment for me was when Christine asked the group what they were feeling at that moment. Several said peace, someone said they were ready to move forward and someone else said they felt hope. Praise God!! I had tears hearing the responses.

Late afternoon, Neal Lozano arrived. He is an amazing, anointed man! Neal is the founder of Heart of The Father Ministries. If you have never head of his book UNBOUND: A Practical Guide to Deliverance from Evil Spirits, I highly recommend it. Neal led us through an exercise (practice prayer) in forgiveness and deliverance. In the course of the keynote he said something very powerful...he said "God want's you to conceive." He then brought up Genesis "be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it." This was so freeing to hear. God want's me to conceive?? So often we think our way out of that and work around it with the dance of "this must not be God's will." It was so powerful to hear a man of authority pray with that authority for us and over us. So, he did pray over many of the couples. Paul and I were honored to lay hands in prayer with him and I was blown away by how in tune Neal is with the Holy Spirit. Without knowing these couples, he spoke words straight from God to so many of us.

The retreat concluded with Mass led by my brother in law. He did an awesome job preaching about how God often takes us beyond our comfort zone to bless us.

SO, I was honored and amazed to be used as a tool by God for this retreat.

God, bless all couples that struggle deeply with infertility. Allow them to receive & know your abundant blessing and love. Touch them, heal them...bless them with children. St Gianna, pray for us. St Gerard, pray for us.