things are not looking good

for them.

Out of confidentiality, I won't disclose why...but the case just took another turn, in our favor.

It is difficult to watch people's lives fall apart. For his sake, I am grateful SBR is in our home. When I learned about the situation I just squeezed him a little tighter and thanked God that we are here to love him. He is starting to favor mama (me). Now that he is crawling, he will crawl over to me an give me the look to pick him up. I love the feeling of the bond slowly developing between us. I hope he stays.

He is laughing in his uncle's arms, playing hide and seek with H as I type this.

In other related news, there is another visit scheduled with the aunt. Clearances have not yet arrived from her state. I am not sure if what happened will make her feel stronger about fighting for him, I hope not.

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

This is a beautiful song and Steven Curtis Chapman is an amazing advocate for adoption. It is so touching to see images of his daughter Maria in the video. :*-)

Passing the Case

I mentioned before, our case (for our foster son) is being passed to the adoption unit. We have known about this for awhile and knew that Sep 1st, the 6th month mark, since having "SBR" was a big one for us.

This Wednesday, before dropping SBR off for his weekly visit, his parents were informed the case was passing. I realize there were probably discussions to the same effect with them...but I know the news was very difficult. Though I am not able to share details of the case, mom and dad are both in the picture. As far as biological parents go, in the foster care system, I am told they are up there in terms of being nice/easy to deal with people. I have long grappled with the feeling of taking their baby away and just feeling bad for them. At which point I remind myself the court/county took their baby away and we are the nice family caring for him.

Fostering is such a unique experience. It is not like what I imagine dealing with adoptive biological parents would be like. These are parents who have not decided to give up their child. Yet I have him.

I really have no idea what will happen. When a petition (for termination of parental rights) lands on their door step, will they consider signing, or will they fight? They have not "fought" so far (by making life changes), which is why the case is passing.

Today we went to the park for a picnic. SBR slept in my Ergo carrier while H played. We are feeling more and more like a family of four. I am feeling more and more like a mom of children. Two kids is so much more challenging than one. Our life feels "full" right now. We try not to focus on the outcome, nor do we speak of it much. I am not sure where in the process we are (6 more months before we know, 12? longer?). But I am content. I am content being a mommy to two. I am blessed to have a blessed distraction from every period that arrives and the sting of infertility.

A while ago we turned away an adoption opportunity. Something feel into our laps and we half considered it...then fully considered it. My husband said yes. The decision was left up to me. At that time (and still now) I could not fathom being able to care for another child, yet. God has a plan. I do not know it. But, being content with where we are is all the confirmation we need that fostering is where we are called right now.

Prayer Buddy Reveal

This summer I joined a blogging prayer buddy network.

I am relatively unknown in this blogging network...because I started our blog for family, not for the blogging world. However, in the last year I have started reading other blogs. There are some amazing women with some amazing reflections on infertility, adoption, faith, family, etc. I have recently added a few to my sidebar. I am inspired by their stories, their faith, their parenting reflections...the fact that infertile women can actually have big families.

I received my assignment back in the beginning of July. She is a woman whose blog I had seen once before I received this assignment. The reason I found her blog was because it was sharing such gigantic news. After reading her news - I thought I had seen enough of her blog. She had received what every infertile woman longs for. The irony that she became my prayer buddy, was actually God calling me onward. I am so grateful I was forced to revisit her blog and read more about her.

This is what I have learned: She received NaPro Care (near and dear to my heart) which led to her amazing news and she and her husband were in the adoption process with Catholic Charities before their surprise (like us). She is very creative, loves to camp (wohoo) and is a woman of faith. Her profile is a picture of meeting the Pope with her husband - in their wedding clothes on their honeymoon (so cool). Her prayer intentions had nothing to do with herself, though I am sure her own spiritual needs are great. In the course of a couple of months, she has gone through great joy, great fear, sadness and excitement. Let me explain, after a year and half of infertility, she conceived triplets. Not long after that, she lost one of the babies. Now she moves forward with a twin pregnancy, which is still completely overwhelming, I imagine. Recently she found out that she is gestating twin sons.

Brittany (Picking up Our Cross), it has been a joy to pray for you and your intentions and to get you know you a little better the past month and half. I prayed especially hard for you while I was at the Theology of the Body congress adoration chapel - surrounded by very cool priests and religious. I look forward to following your blog through the rest of your pregnancy (and beyond). Your boys will be blessed to have you as their mama!

Foster Updates

Updates from the world of fostering:

1. Paternity is confirmed. The Senior that my foster son is Juniored after, is the correct Senior. With this we breathe a sigh of relief, because we know what we face...there is nothing unknown.

2. Approval was granted to pass the case to the adoption unit. That pass will happen sometime in the next couple weeks. What this means is "SBR" gets a new social worker, whose goal is to follow through to his adoption. She is the SW that files petitions for termination of parental rights. Parental rights can either be terminated voluntarily or involuntarily. Obviously, voluntary termination will mean a much quicker process moving forward. This particular social worker is VERY familiar with bio mom and has led her through this process twice before. I believe she will sign....bio dad...I am not sure it will be so easy, but I am praying for that.

After petitions are signed, there is a court case to terminate rights. Then it starts to move into adoption.

3. We will be starting an adoption home study within the next month and get a new set of social workers (in addition to the two from the county) who will continue onward with us from there. SO that is a grand total of 4 (5 including some transition time we expect) that we will be dealing with.

4. Great Aunt is still out there. Approved in her state and waiting approval in our state. Expecting approval will be granted. RIGHT NOW, all social workers are in agreement she has not made a strong case to get the baby because she has not been visiting. Words I was SO glad to hear today "every week she does not come is counting as a missed visit." She has come twice in the almost 5 months we have had him. SO, on that end, the prayer is either they will back down or the courts will side in our favor here.

On the way out the door from the visit today I was chatting with the visit supervisor. She looked at me and said "Elisabeth, I wouldn't worry." It is nice to get some reassurance from people who have BTDT.

Meanwhile, SBR's current social worker stated "it could take 6 months, it could take 2 years, I can't predict the future or what might happen."

So we continue to wait...and pray. And discuss how old SBR should be before we say Yes to our next foster child. :)