So...I might as well just catch up on all my blogging...right? :)
The Hope Retreat was this past Saturday. It got close to not happening as our numbers were lower than we planned. However, God intended this retreat to happen. There was 17 of us, including our speaker who claimed she was attending the retreat too.
As the retreat host, I felt the time crunch through the day and the pressure to keep things moving. Despite this, I managed to experience some very good moments. Christine Wittman, our first keynote, a Catholic therapist did a beautiful job of challenging us to dispel the myths of infertility. Things like "you are alone in your struggle", "this is your fault", "God doesn't love you". Christine lead us through the process of rewriting these to truth and redirecting to positive thoughts.
Paul and I were a part of the panel and shared our story from infertility surgeries to the adoption process, to conception, to secondary IF & surgery to fostering. We were joined with another couple that dealt with combined fertility issues (male & female) for 6 years before concieving (my retreat co-host and her husband).
After lunch we had time with Jesus in adoration and confession. Paul jumped when I asked him to play guitar at the last second and did an amazing job of providing soft reflection music.
Christine then led a group segment. Our chairs were in a circle and the empty chair among us became "Infertility." We all had a chance to say what we needed to say to "Infertility." My favorite moment of the day happened when the man next to me said forcefully "Infertility...you owe me a LOT of money." We all cracked up. Humor is good. The most rewarding part of this segment for me was when Christine asked the group what they were feeling at that moment. Several said peace, someone said they were ready to move forward and someone else said they felt hope. Praise God!! I had tears hearing the responses.
Late afternoon, Neal Lozano arrived. He is an amazing, anointed man! Neal is the founder of Heart of The Father Ministries. If you have never head of his book UNBOUND: A Practical Guide to Deliverance from Evil Spirits, I highly recommend it. Neal led us through an exercise (practice prayer) in forgiveness and deliverance. In the course of the keynote he said something very powerful...he said "God want's you to conceive." He then brought up Genesis "be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it." This was so freeing to hear. God want's me to conceive?? So often we think our way out of that and work around it with the dance of "this must not be God's will." It was so powerful to hear a man of authority pray with that authority for us and over us. So, he did pray over many of the couples. Paul and I were honored to lay hands in prayer with him and I was blown away by how in tune Neal is with the Holy Spirit. Without knowing these couples, he spoke words straight from God to so many of us.
The retreat concluded with Mass led by my brother in law. He did an awesome job preaching about how God often takes us beyond our comfort zone to bless us.
SO, I was honored and amazed to be used as a tool by God for this retreat.
God, bless all couples that struggle deeply with infertility. Allow them to receive & know your abundant blessing and love. Touch them, heal them...bless them with children. St Gianna, pray for us. St Gerard, pray for us.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
On Fostering
It has been almost two months since we began fostering. If you ask me now my response is "what a gift!" We love this little boy. We love being mamma and papa and H proudly declares every day "I'm a BIG sister." God has given us the gift and responsibility to care for this precious little boy. His smiles and sweet talk are all that we need to know he is where he needs to be right now.
I have decided that it is to my advantage to be the one to drop him off for his weekly parent visits. Seeing them and their interactions is a tremendous help in keeping perspective on my role as foster parent. "The goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification..."
At the same time I have his social worker keeping me posted about the status of things. It is pretty much the same report "his parents have a long way to go." From where we stand now we are looking at 8 months before the county would start discussion on termination of rights. This is actually shorter than our original time line of 15 months after placement. The social workers keep things in check for me. They are like the translators. I say "I heard blah blah blah" and they translate back "the reality is blah blah blah."
The reality is he will be here for a good bit of his first year. Two months in...I think I could send him home and know I did a good thing. Ask me the same question in 8 months....I don't know.
I have also met so many foster families who have grown their families though fostering. The county allows up to 6 children in a home at one time and so many foster families are "generous with children." Big hearts equal big families in the foster world. I met a woman in the elevator the other day with a 15 month old whom she is adopting and a BRAND newborn that was just placed with them. Another foster mom I see regularly is in the process of adopting her fourth.
From the financial side...this is amazing. I always always struggled with the question "why do I have to have 10, 20, 30K in the bank to become a parent?" When we talked about growing our family, we were committed to not incurring debt in the process. And...miraculously, we managed to become debt free not long after H was born. When the question is "why do I have to have so much $$$ in the bank to become a parent" - the answer is FOSTER! We receive a stipend for mileage for visits & doctor appointments, a daily stipend, clothing stipend (at placement). He is on medical assistance (state health care) and receives WIC to cover the cost of formula.
Fostering IS difficult. But it IS rewarding. I foresee us being foster parents for a while and pray this is the way God will allow us to grow the family we have always longed for.
For now, this is a complete blessing in our lives. I have a smiling baby in the swing next to me so excited to be awake at 9:30pm. Watching him grow, giving him kisses and snuggles, watching my daughter read him books and teach him to pray...we are blessed to be parents to this sweet sweet baby.
I have decided that it is to my advantage to be the one to drop him off for his weekly parent visits. Seeing them and their interactions is a tremendous help in keeping perspective on my role as foster parent. "The goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification, the goal of fostering is reunification..."
At the same time I have his social worker keeping me posted about the status of things. It is pretty much the same report "his parents have a long way to go." From where we stand now we are looking at 8 months before the county would start discussion on termination of rights. This is actually shorter than our original time line of 15 months after placement. The social workers keep things in check for me. They are like the translators. I say "I heard blah blah blah" and they translate back "the reality is blah blah blah."
The reality is he will be here for a good bit of his first year. Two months in...I think I could send him home and know I did a good thing. Ask me the same question in 8 months....I don't know.
I have also met so many foster families who have grown their families though fostering. The county allows up to 6 children in a home at one time and so many foster families are "generous with children." Big hearts equal big families in the foster world. I met a woman in the elevator the other day with a 15 month old whom she is adopting and a BRAND newborn that was just placed with them. Another foster mom I see regularly is in the process of adopting her fourth.
From the financial side...this is amazing. I always always struggled with the question "why do I have to have 10, 20, 30K in the bank to become a parent?" When we talked about growing our family, we were committed to not incurring debt in the process. And...miraculously, we managed to become debt free not long after H was born. When the question is "why do I have to have so much $$$ in the bank to become a parent" - the answer is FOSTER! We receive a stipend for mileage for visits & doctor appointments, a daily stipend, clothing stipend (at placement). He is on medical assistance (state health care) and receives WIC to cover the cost of formula.
Fostering IS difficult. But it IS rewarding. I foresee us being foster parents for a while and pray this is the way God will allow us to grow the family we have always longed for.
For now, this is a complete blessing in our lives. I have a smiling baby in the swing next to me so excited to be awake at 9:30pm. Watching him grow, giving him kisses and snuggles, watching my daughter read him books and teach him to pray...we are blessed to be parents to this sweet sweet baby.
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