On this Night

On this night, three years ago, I was preparing to meet the little person who ended the most difficult four years of my life.

Hundreds of prayers, millions of tears, pain and recovery from 3 surgeries, endless vials of blood...given up for her. I was in hopelessness, on the verge of despair. We had given up trying. And then, she came. Sacrificial love. Answered prayers.

I remember, after finding out we were pregnant, telling a priest who had prayed for us year after year. We found out as he was ending yet another novena on our behalf. He was SO excited for us and told us that our pregnancy, an answer to HIS prayers, was a profound moment of restored faith for him. :'-) It was restored faith for us as well.

In thinking of all those I have "met" online recently or know in real life...still waiting to be blessed, all I can say is hang in there! The pain and suffering of infertility is like nothing else. Every month, to realize your body has failed, yet again. The feeling of prayers unanswered....questioning God, screaming at him.

I gave up believing I would be so blessed to conceive and carry a child in my womb.

On this night, we had just arrived at the birth center. We were excited, nervous, breathing. Anxious to discover our child. To meet, this person. The one whom my husband danced to the sound of her heartbeat, who made us cry to see her squirm onscreen or feel her under my heart. This person, who we longed for, begged for.

I was so nervous that we would have to have a c-section, years of infertility prepare you for the worst. But, my body and my baby followed protocol. Within a few hours of arriving at the birth center, already 4 cm dilated, I was feeling the pain entering into transition. Some how I stumbled to the bathtub and hung on to the bar for dear life. Some how, I stumbled back out of the bathtub. Somewhere around 2am I began to push. Push with strength that only comes at a moment like this. At 2:21am Hannah Rose exited my womb and landed in her papa's hands, and changed our lives forever.

After 4 hours, we brought her home. Heaven touches earth. We are so eternally grateful and always praising God for His amazing gift.





Happy Birthday Angel!!