We had court this morning and for the first time in our fostering career, we have a case moving towards reunification. People ask me how I feel about that. And the answer, I am not quite sure.
I was encouraged to be very open with one particular daughter, to help protect her as she clearly has attachments with them. When I informed her they may be going back to their birth mother, her first response was "when can we foster again?" That seems to be the consensus in this house. No true element of sadness or recognition of the piece that will be missing from our lives.
And, to tell you the truth, I can't wrap my brain around that either.
There is a part of me that wants to just move on. But, we know they are for sure in our care until the end of October.
Then there is the reality of our situation. Having a 1, 2 and 3 year old at the same time is a challenge. I am not resigned to having a first, second and third grader at the same time in our home school. Or three in college at the same time. A little more space between kids would be really nice.
My oldest want's to know when we can adopt an older child, as in she wants someone to be her buddy...as if sibling relationships were ever that easy.
Ideally, for me, we would be adopting the infant (Bullfrog) who has stolen my heart and I have a bit of mama bear defensiveness for at this point. But, it is not likely they will be split and I see how hard that first-mom is working to get them back. I hope that she keeps it up. I hope that she can overcome the challenges of the past and make the life these boys deserve.
Until then, we march on and love them, really truly love them. It's our job.
